Teenage activist Abriella Ruby discusses what led her to found a charity organization when she was just 12 years old, and what kindness means to young people in today's world.
This week, Jaclyn meets with teenage activist and actress, Abriella Ruby. They discuss Abriella's path to founding her charity, Love Conquers Dayton, ways to support young people as they navigate unkindness in their world, and what kindness means to the next generation.
Abriella is a 16-year-old change-maker passionate about helping others. She started Love Conquers Dayton when she was 12 years old, in hopes of giving a few care packs to the unhoused people in her community. That small gift of sharing quickly gathered steam, allowing her to give well over $50,000 in care packs over the last four years. Her work has garnered attention from Good Morning America and celebrities such as Jessica Vosk and Allison Janney. The board of Love Conquers Dayton consists of only teenagers, hoping to bring kindness to their community.
This podcast is one of the many ways we live out our organization's mission to educate and inspire people to choose kindness. Visit our site kindness.org and sign up to become a part of our global community which spans more than 100 countries. It's free to join and when you do you'll be the first to get access to our latest research, tools, and even episodes of this podcast. Let's build a kinder world, together. Contact us at podcast@kindness.org or on social at @kindnessorg.
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Abriella Ruby
Intro: Why Kindness? Because it makes a difference. For connection. Kindness can change lives. It's contagious. The science says you'll be glad you did. Kindness is the key to a healthier, happier world.
Jaclyn: Why kindness? While no one answer is the same, one thing is clear. Kindness is something we all know, but do we know why it matters?
I'm your host, Jaclyn Lindsay, co-founder, CEO of kindness.org. And you're listening to Why Kindness?
Hello, hello, dear friends. What an exciting episode we have in store for you. I'm joined by the incredible, formidable Abriella Ruby, and we're going to jump right into a very exciting and inspiring episode and learn more about how she is changing the world.
Hi, Abriella. Thank you for being here today.
Abriella: Hi, thank you for having me.
Jaclyn: So for our wonderful listeners, let us know where you're calling in from.
Abriella: I am from Dayton, Ohio.
Jaclyn: Okay. And how old are you?
Abriella: I'm 15.
Jaclyn: 15, okay. So what grade is that?
Abriella: I'm, oh, it's kind of confusing because I'm homeschooled so I'm like a freshman technically, but I also am like a freshman in college.
So it's confusing.
Jaclyn: Yes, that indeed is very confusing, but okay, cool. Freshman high school, freshman college. I love it. Why does kindness matter?
Abriella: Kindness matters because, uh, it's really the thing that keeps the world going around. Um, I think if you're kind to one person, then they'll be kind to someone else, and then everyone will just, um, hopefully, live better and happier lives.
Jaclyn: Wonderful. Thank you. That was beautiful. Well, we are really excited to talk to you. Um, you know, a lot of the work we're doing with kindness is in schools and helping think about how kindness shows up in classrooms and with students and in their lives and their communities.
And, uh, I think the work you're doing is extraordinary. I'm so inspired by you. And I would really love to start there and just hear a little bit about Love Conquers Dayton. So why don't we start with exactly what that is and how it began.
Abriella: Well, Love Conquers Dayton is my nonprofit organization. Um, I started it when I was 12 years old, uh, and we help the homeless. So we give out care packs to the homeless and, um, we try to like inspire younger kids and teens, um, to help out their community.
So, uh, when I was, I think I was probably 11 when I came up with the idea for it. Um, I saw a YouTube video that had like somebody giving out Christmas presents to the homeless and, um, some like necessities to the homeless. And I thought that that was a great idea and I really wanted to do it. So then I asked my mom, I was like, can we do this?
And my mom was like, okay, let's, let's think about it. But, um, after a few months, I came back and asked again and my mom said, yeah, let's do it. So we started like emailing CEOs of companies and stuff like that. Um, asking if they could help in any way. And we got the word out to like friends and family and we ended up raising, I think around 25,000 dollars in donated items.
Um, yeah. And so we made some care packs, um, which have like necessities like blankets, hats, gloves, um, shelf staple food items, hygiene items. So we made those and we gave them out to the homeless. Um, and then, since then, we have been doing different things. So for the next couple of years, we continued to make care packs, but it was hard because of the pandemic.
Um, so a lot of our stuff was like online planning and then having to like work around COVID and everything. Um, and then about like, I think it was like last year when we started like shifting over to schools. So I've like talked to a few like schools and stuff and, um, I just like tell the students about what I do and like how they can help and so then the schools, we partner with them and they like make drives and stuff and um, they help us with the care packs.
And then, yeah, and then we're able to give out more care packs to the homeless.
Jaclyn: So I'd love to get back to the first part when you were 12 and you did this for the first time. So you see this YouTube video, you're inspired to take action. When you started building those care packs and delivering them, tell us a little bit about that experience the first time of going to hand those packs out, you know, where, where in your community did you go?
Did you engage and talk to the people you were giving them to? Is there a story or memory you have that really stands out?
Abriella: Um, when we first started handing out care packs. We had like, like a big event type thing. So we were at like a church in downtown Dayton and, uh, we had like all our friends and family there.
And, um, so we all like packed the care packs together. We brought all the supplies and we packed them together and, um, we ended up having like homeless people come to the church. And so we had like, um, Panera donated like, lunches and stuff like that. So then they could sit and eat and then they would get a care pack.
Um, but yeah, we got to like talk to all of them and stuff and we got to hear their stories and, um, they were all just like so grateful and they were all so sweet, as well. They were very kind. Um, and yeah, I, I think it was just like a great experience.
Jaclyn: Amazing. And is there one story over the years, person you've interacted with or memory you have of someone who's really stood out to you with their experience around homelessness?
Abriella: Um, so there was this family who contacted us, um, during the pandemic. Uh, they emailed us and said that they were struggling because, um, the parent had like an illness and so they were in a shelter but the shelter like moved them to a hotel because of being at a higher risk for COVID. So, um, the hotel was like not around any resources or anything.
So they couldn't get the help that they needed and they couldn't get like food and hygiene items and stuff like that. So they contacted us asking if we could help. And, um, we brought them groceries and things like that. And so we helped them a few times. So we really got to like talk to them. And, um, I think we met them at like a library once and they're really sweet people, but, um, yeah, I think just like the fact that we got to help them more than once was nice because we really got to build a connection with them.
Jaclyn: Yeah, absolutely. So when I think about being an 11-year-old, seeing an inspiring video, I feel like it takes a very, very, very special 11-year-old to actually want to do something about it. So I'd love to start even earlier. Who do you credit your desire for kindness to? Where did you learn it? What are some of your earliest memories of kindness?
Abriella: Um, I think my mom probably taught me about kindness and that it's important to care for everyone, um, because I mean, whenever we would like drive by a homeless person or anything, or somebody that needed help, we, my mom would always like give them money or like food or anything that we had. So then that was kind of just like ingrained in my brain.
Oh, you help people, like, that's what you do. And, um, so like, I remember when I was like four, maybe, um, from that point on I was kind of always like, oh, do you have money to like give them? Do you have like food or anything? Because one time I had a dance recital, at that point I was like seven and we saw a homeless person and they were asking for food.
And so all I had was my lunch and I gave them my lunch because I can always go out and get food. Um, but they couldn't. So then I gave them my lunch. Um, and they were just so grateful for that.
But I also remember I went to like New York for the first time. And that was insane because I didn't know that there were so many people that needed help there. I thought that New York was just this magical place and was just so perfect. But, um, we were walking down the streets of New York and I just saw so many people who needed help. And so I think that really changed how I thought about things.
Jaclyn: Yes, very understandable.
As far as how kindness shows up in other parts of your life, do you have an example of seeing it between peers or community or something like that outside of just the context of the homelessness?
Abriella: Well, my friends kind of always are like with me and stuff like that. So, um, I have a really great friend group who does theater with me and we're like always together.
And so, um, like when one of us is struggling, we're all there for each other. So, um, I think that really shows kindness because just like caring for other people and like your friends and family and stuff like that, um, it's really great and so yeah, I'd say my friends really show me kindness every day.
Jaclyn: Yeah, I think especially with your age and everything out there, you know, the toll social media is taking and, um, implications it's having on well-being and all of that. What does it look like to be there for each other? I'd love to hear a little bit more about, you know, being in the life of 15, 16-year-olds.
What is kindness between friend groups right now? How are you supporting each other?
Abriella: Well, when there's like, there's drama going on or anything, we're always like, make sure to stick together. So like just recently there's been a lot of drama between like my friend group and then some other people. Um, and so we always like support each other and, um, we make sure that we like hear each other out because sometimes like it's hard to understand where the other people are coming from and their story, but we really try to listen to them and, um, just hear them out.
Jaclyn: I think, I think that's a great answer. Yeah, let's, let's unpack that a little bit more. I think we might call that perspective-taking, you know, having empathy for the other person. Where did those skills come from for you? Do you feel like you were taught them? You saw them modeled for you? Because hose are very mature things to have in relationships.
Abriella: I'm not exactly sure where I learned that. Probably from like my family because, um, we all have different, like, thoughts and views on, like, everything, and so then we all have to, like, see where everyone is coming from and stuff like that, and, like, um, me, my mom, and my brothers will all have, like, conversations about, like, I don't know, like politics and stuff like that and we all have different views. And so then we like to, um, try to like hear each other out and see other perspectives and stuff.
Jaclyn: Abriella for president 2042. That's incredible. Um, okay. And so I do want to talk a little bit more about the vision you have for Love Conquers Dayton and where you see it going.
So what's in front of you the rest of this year?
Abriella: The rest of this year, um, probably talking to more schools, um, trying to do like an in-person type thing like we did our first year because we haven't been able to do that since because the pandemic happened and then after that, it was trying to like get things back in order.
Um, so I think this year we might be able to do that. Um, instead of just like giving them out, which obviously giving them out like as we're driving by and stuff is great, but I think, um, having one big thing would be like really amazing. Um, and we've been okay, we've been thinking of like ideas of different things to do and I know that like last year we had the idea to make like, a like library type thing where you like give a book, take a book, you know, that type thing.
Um, so I think that'd be fun because we could like build the, um, box or whatever it's going to be in and so I think that could be fun. Um, plus it'll like help with people who like might not be able to get books or anything like that, don't live near a library, stuff like that. So yeah.
Jaclyn: you're in theater.
So I'm assuming aspiring actress is what you're pursuing. Okay. And do you have a desire? Is it Broadway? film? TV?
Abriella: Oh, Uh, both.
Jaclyn: All of the above?
Abriella: Yeah, um, I, I love film and I think I've done more like theater than I have film, so I'm kind of more comfortable with theater, but film is just so, like, cool and I love being on set and everything and acting, but also I think, directing would also be very fun.
Um, so I kind of just want to try everything to do with it.
Jaclyn: Amazing. And do you know where you want to go next when you finish, um, high school/college? One and the same.
Abriella: Um, I think, I'm not really sure on that because I want to do like acting and all that kind of stuff, but I also um, want to travel, so maybe like go to college for theater and then travel and like a broadway like tour, that would be fun. Because I love traveling.
Jaclyn: Yes, as do I.
Um, how, how does kind of show up in the theater world?
Abriella: Um, it definitely shows up in casts that I'm in. Um, cause we all have to like work through learning about our characters together. And sometimes somebody will like make a choice that, uh, just doesn't like make sense and then we all like help each other figure out how we should be playing these characters and things like that.
So we're all just like really supporting each other in all of our choices and actions and stuff. Um, and also our directors, um, stage managers, uh, all of them really help us, uh, and they really care about us. So, I think there's just a lot of kindness in theater in general, but definitely, we support each other a lot.
Jaclyn: I love that. And when you do head off on your travels, what do you think will happen to Love Conquers Dayton?
Abriella: Um, I think, I hope to like bring it with me. So, um, that would be like tough, but I would try to find a way because then I could help people in like other places, not just Dayton. So, um, I would be able to like, expand a little bit.
Um, but I think, yeah, I would try to take it with me and, um, maybe like whatever cast I'm in, maybe they'll get involved and help with it and stuff. Um, and then, yeah, we can help people wherever we're traveling to.
Jaclyn: I love that. I also, uh, I wanted to go back to something earlier, thinking about, you know, the way that you're navigating these very difficult things that we might go through in our younger years, what advice would you give to people who are listening that have children that they're seeing go through unkindness with their peer group? You know, how would you guide them on how to best support their children?
Abriella: Oh, I would say, just if they ask for help, help them. But if they're trying to navigate it on their own, let them, they need to have these experiences and It'll help them grow.
Um, because I know when I'm going through things, I like to try to fix it myself. And then if I do need help, I'll ask a parent or guardian or somebody in my life to help me. Um, but yeah, I think just like, be there for them and, um, try to let them navigate it on their own at first. If that's what they want.
Jaclyn: Very, very, very sound wisdom. Thank you for that. What are some of your favorite, um, kind acts that you like to do outside of the work you're doing through Love Conquers Dayton?
Abriella: Um, I like to compliment my friends a lot. That's like my favorite thing. Um, so like I'll compliment them on their outfits. My friends have really great outfits all the time. They're always, they're always eating. They're always, they always look amazing. Um, and then, I like, I like giving gifts to people too. So like, I'll, well, I'm not really a gift giver.
I write notes. I write a lot of notes for people. So, um, that's kind of because I love writing in general, so then just writing notes for the people that I love is great.
Jaclyn: I love that. I love that. Okay. What's one of the most memorable kind acts you've ever received?
Abriella: Ooh, I think when people tell me that like, I've, I've had um, someone tell me before that I just like brighten their day when I walk in a room.
That's like, that's the most memorable for me personally, is like, um, just being able to like make somebody happy. Like, if they tell me that, that's really memorable. One of my friends told me that, um, last year.
Jaclyn: This is very special, very, very special. And have you worked outside of Dayton with any of your initiatives?
Abriella: I haven't yet because it's kind of hard to get outside of Dayton when I can't drive yet. Um, but I think I will in the future. Um, hopefully, the near future, cause I can drive soon. But, uh, it's, yeah, it's kind of hard to, um, do anything outside of my area right now. So not yet.
Jaclyn: Soon, soon, um, when you're a sophomore high school, sophomore college student,
Abriella: Yes.
Jaclyn: You know, I think the thing about taking perspective and having empathy for other sides or groups that are different than you. I feel like that is something that so beautifully applies into how people might experience someone who's homeless. You know, and it can be hard sometimes to not make assumptions or past judgment about their character, who they are, what their story is, what would you say to those people?
Abriella: Um, I would say to just try to see where they're coming from. Just listen to them because I've known a lot of people who won't even listen to their stories and who just really judge them before they even hear anything about them. I've had people tell me that, um, well, they should get a job. Well, they should like learn how to provide for themselves.
And then I'm like, hold on. They like, everyone needs help at some point. And so they're just going through a hard time. And if you can help them get out of that hard time, then that's great. So I think really just listening to their story. Um, I think that would help a lot with people who just can't, they can't bring themselves to listen.
So if they can find a way, of listening, that would be great.
Jaclyn: Tell us where we can find out more about the work you're doing through Love Conquers Dayton.
Abriella: Uh, you can find out more about Love Conquers Dayton and at loveconquersdayton.com. Um, and you can find out like where to help us and how to help us and everything there.
Jaclyn: And am I remembering correctly, you have a super fan in Allison Janney? Is that correct? Wait, you have to tell us that story.
Abriella: Um, okay, so, I was like, I asked Allison Janney if she could, I like DM'd her on Instagram or something and I asked her if she could like, donate or if she could post about Love Conquers Dayton or anything that could help, and so she, she helped out, and then, um, I also messaged, DM'd Jessica Vosk, who's like a Broadway performer, and I asked the same thing, and she also helped, like she posted on her story and everything.
And so then Good Morning America, like, invited me on. Like a few years ago, and so I had that interview and it was going good and I had everything scripted in my brain so I could remember and then they were like, we have a little surprise for you and they brought on a video of Allison Janney like talking to me and then everything went out of my brain at that point. I did not, I couldn't remember anything that I had like, like, in my brain, so that I could say everything about Love Conquers Dayton, I couldn't remember any of it because she was like, I hope we get to work together someday, what you're doing is amazing. And I was like, oh my god, it's Allison Janney. And then, they also, like, actually, they brought on Jessica Vosk, like, live. And she gave me voice lessons, like three free voice lessons with her. Those were really fun. I got to meet her dog. It was so fun.
Jaclyn: Amazing. So moral of the story is to be kind and to DM people on Instagram. Be willing to DM people on Instagram and make magic happen. I love this. You have a very compelling story. So I can imagine, um, that helped. Wait, and I have to ask why Allison Janney of all celebrities, what drew you to reach out to her?
Abriella: Well, Allison Janney grew up in Ohio. Um, and so then I was like, Oh, she knows Dayton. She like, cause she grew up around Dayton too. So, um, she knows Dayton. She knows how like hard it is in Dayton for some people and like how there's like a lot of homeless people there. So I thought that, that was like a good chance of getting someone to help me.
Um. So I, I just, I asked.
Jaclyn: So strategic, so smart. I love it. I love it. Amazing. Okay. So here we go. So this is like no wrong answer. It's kind of like, you just, I'm just going to throw a bunch of questions on and you just get to say whatever comes to your mind. Okay. If you could have everyone around the world do one kind act, what would it be?
Abriella: Um, write a note and give it to someone.
Jaclyn: How would you define kindness in one word?
Abriella: Um, easy, but also not. That's not one word.
Jaclyn: That's okay. Three words. One, three words. We're going with it. I love it. Easy, but not. Okay.
Um, if kindness were a food, what would it be?
Abriella: Ice cream.
Jaclyn: Yes. Good one. What flavor?
Abriella: Um, mint chocolate chip.
Jaclyn: Perfect. Love it. Um, what is a book that you're reading right now?
Abriella: Um. Oh, what's it called? Uh, oh, it's like the, uh, it's a murder mystery. Um, I can't remember, so I'm also reading the second series of Percy Jackson right now. I'm on the second book.
Jaclyn: Done. Perfect.
Fill in the blank. The most important thing you want people to know about kindness is?
Abriella: You just need to, uh, try and you can ask people, um, to help you be kind. And most of the time they'll help.
Jaclyn: And who do you want to say thank you to for showing you kindness?
Abriella: Um, my family.
Jaclyn: Perfect. Uh, so on behalf of our incredible, wonderful partners and the podcast sponsor, Verizon, and in answering the call for kindness, which is a campaign that we're doing to help inspire and motivate more kindness across our country.
We want to invite you to answer the call for kindness. So this is you pledging to do an act of kindness, letting someone know what they mean to you. You can do it right now on text. You can tell us who you're going to do it for, and then commit to do it after this podcast. But ultimately we want to be able to close on choosing kindness.
Abriella: I am going to text my friend Elena and um, tell her that she, it makes me so happy when we go on walks together around the neighborhood.
Jaclyn: I love it. All right. Well, we can't wait to hear how Elena responds. So thank you. That's an awesome, awesome gesture. Thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode of the Why Kindness podcast, sponsored by our friends at Verizon.
To learn more about everything you heard today from our wonderful guests, definitely check out our show notes. We hope you're leaving this episode inspired and reminded that every kind act truly does make a difference. We'd love to hear how you're choosing kindness in your day to day. We write back to every email, so let us know what you think.
And please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can visit us at kindness.org to learn more about how you can answer the call for kindness. Please tune in next week as we continue to explore this big question. Why kindness?