We're kicking off the first season of Why Kindness? with a powerful conversation with host Jaclyn Lindsey and actress and entrepreneur JoAnna Garcia Swisher around the role of kindness in the entertainment industry, both on and off-screen. JoAnna shares the inspiration behind her project The Happy Place and her journey to find joy in the midst of grief.
Host Jaclyn Lindsey dives into a discussion with the remarkable JoAnna Garcia Swisher to discuss the role of kindness in her work, her family, and her online initiative The Happy Place.
Currently, Swisher stars in Netflix’s hit show “Sweet Magnolias” as ‘Maddie Townsend.’ The third season premiered on Netflix on July 20, 2023. Swisher is best known for playing Reba’s daughter ‘Cheyenne Montgomery in “Reba.”
Outside of acting, Swisher has founded The Happy Place, a destination that explores, motivates, and empowers the experience of living a life with intention and how that reflects in your interiors. At its core, The Happy Place will ignite and inspire the inner designer in every person. She has also been inspired by her partnership with the Step Up Women’s Network and Hills Pet Nutrition. Swisher, along with her husband Nick Swisher, also founded the Swisher Family Foundation with a mission of providing children in need with medical care, education, and recreational activities.
This podcast is one of the many ways we live out our organization's mission to educate and inspire people to choose kindness. Visit our site kindness.org and sign up to become a part of our global community which spans more than 100 countries. It's free to join and when you do you'll be the first to get access to our latest research, tools, and even episodes of this podcast. Let's build a kinder world, together. Contact us at podcast@kindness.org or on social at @kindnessorg.
Sponsored by Verizon
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Credits
Transcript available at this link.
INTRO:
Kindness. Why kindness?
Because it makes a difference.
For connection.
Kindness can change lives.
It's contagious.
The science says you'll be glad you did.
Kindness is the key to a healthier, happier world.
INTRO (Jaclyn):
Why kindness? While no one answer is the same, one thing is clear. Kindness is something we all know, but do we know why it matters? I'm your host Jaclyn Lindsey, co-founder CEO of kindness.org, and you're listening to Why Kindness?
JACLYN:
Hi friends, welcome to the first ever Why Kindness? Podcast episode. I am so honored to welcome our inaugural guest to this show. Joanna Garcia Swisher is a woman of many talents. She's an actor, activist, founder of The Happy Place, an incredible wife and mother. Today you're going to hear why kindness matters to her and how she's choosing it in her world today. I am such a huge fan of her, and with that I am so thrilled to welcome you to our show, welcome Jo. Thank you so much for being here today.
JOANNA
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be with you today.
JACLYN
Thank you, we're thrilled to have you. Where are you calling in from today?
JOANNA
I'm in Tampa, Florida, which is where I live now.
JACLYN
Okay, yeah, so you want to know where I'm calling in from?
JOANNA
Yes.
JACLYN
St. Petersburg.
JOANNA
No way!
JACLYN
Yes, we could have done this in person!
JOANNA
Next time, next time!
JACLYN
Oh my gosh.
JOANNA
Are you about to get rained on? Because I’m starting to hear the thunder.
JACLYN
Yes, somehow we might have to somehow get the thunder out of here. But hi, thank you so much for being with us. We're gonna dive straight in and we really just love opening up with this big idea of why kindness. So what would you say to that question, why kindness?
JOANNA
Uh, why not? I mean, it should be essential, it should be what we lead with. It feels much better to be kind than it feels to not be kind. It's kind of, you know, a mutually beneficial way of living. So yeah, it's that simple.
JACLYN
Where did you learn about kindness?
JOANNA
You know I think that it obviously starts, I think, in the home. You know I had really wonderful parents and I think that you know when it's modeled for you, I think that that is key because you know, everyone has different personalities and different tendencies and different reactions to things and I think especially as we get older and as we experience life and whatever, you know, traumas and you know successes and failures along the way it definitely shapes the way we react to situations. But I think if you really learn at an early age to kind of to act with kindness, and I went to a school that was really all about kindness and so I think that it just really ingrained that in me. I think along the way we lose that.
JACLYN
Yeah, yeah, so do you have memories as a child where there was a moment where you really experienced or saw kindness in a way that felt tangible and you really understood the realness of it?
JOANNA
Well yeah, I mean I think just watching my parents walk through the world, my dad was a physician, he was an OB/GYN and he was a very kind and like, gentle man. And my mom was just this like, beautiful, artistic, kind of eccentric, little ray of sunshine. And like I said I went to a school that really led with that. It was almost more important to learn that than it was anything in a book. Not to say that it wasn't, you know, a challenging academic experience but at the end of the day you know we went to school in nature with a lot of animals and it really was a part of the ethos of my, you know, upbringing. And so I think I saw that, you know, I vividly remember, even to this day I get stopped and people will say to me like, your father delivered my child.
JACLYN
Wow.
JOANNA
And so there was just like, such a loving spirit to, you know, the way I was raised that I think it just comes natural.
JACLYN
I love that.
JOANNA
That's not to say, you know, I'm sure I was a jerk. My brother, if he were on this podcast with me
right now he would be like, “Oh, it was such a pain!”
JACLYN
Is he older or younger?
JOANNA
He's two years older and I tortured him, like, in every way that a little sister should.
JACLYN
That's good! Maybe maybe in a way that is kindness.
JOANNA
Yes!
JACLYN
What was the school? It sounds so dreamy.
JOANNA
Um, it was, it was called Independent Day School at the time. And it was really dreamy. And it's funny because it was like in these, like, trailers and it was very progressive and looking back now as a parent, I'm like, “Oh, that surprises me that my parents would choose a school like that for us,” but they really believed in the way that they, you know, taught. And now, I'm very lucky that I get to send my girls there.
JACLYN
Wow! Oh my goodness, okay, that’s incredible carrying a tradition on. How old are your daughters?
JOANNA
I have a ten-year-old and I have a seven-year-old. I know, and they're both so different. And speaking of kindness, because actually it kind of provoked a thought, when we were talking about, you know, I was saying different personalities. Like my husband always says, “You're so much nicer than me,” and I think my husband's really nice. And so when I look at my kids they both are kind in very different ways. And so my oldest daughter is like, a bleeding heart very much like myself, where it just comes very natural. And my younger daughter really, like, she struggles a lot with seeing people like, you know, struggling and suffering and so when kids get you know get made fun of or if she sees someone that's struggling with homelessness, that really affects her tremendously so it's interesting how they relate. But my older daughter is too kind to the point where she won't be, it's hard for her to advocate for herself. And my younger daughter has zero issue advocating for herself, so they're kind to themselves in different ways too.
JACLYN
Yeah, I think that's the exact example of the spectrum of kindness
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
You know, it’s understood by all and yet it manifests so differently within each of us.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
What does it look like now, as an adult, and you know, we'll talk a little bit about your professional career, but now where you are today, what does kindness look like in your day-to-day life and how are you modeling it for your daughters?
JOANNA
Um, I think with curiosity. I think that, you know, I just actually bought a book this morning that I'm really excited to read. It's called “How to Make America Less Mean” by David Brooks. But I was kind of reading about, I’m an avid reader, so this is adding to my giant stack of books that I have next to me to read, and it was really just talking about how we relate to one another and that we have sort of a relational crisis in our country. Which I thought was really interesting to look a little bit deeper into, because I do really think that that is the core of, you know, how you walk through the world with curiosity. You know, it's not just, we judge people all the time, we judge things all the time. To say that, you know, “I'm not a judgmental person,” well that's just not, I don't think that that's actually accurate. We're always sort of discerning and judging, and you know, taking things in all the time, um which is an important thing to do. But if you have a level of curiosity and a level of love, like, you know sort of coming from a place of love, even with a stranger, I find that those reactions, those quick reactions that you have, um are a little bit easier to navigate and I find that, you know, you're able to just relate in a much kinder way. It's hard to sometimes not feel overwhelmed by negativity that's sort of thrown at you. And that's not even because of what I do, I mean we all experience it. And so I think that it's an epidemic, a lack of kindness, it's really an epidemic in our world. And the only way that I feel like, you know, we can combat it is to just model it. And my friend posted something the other day and I was like that's really, it was basically just about staying curious and staying, you know, and loving. And not judging. And I think that is just a really lovely message of just, you know, taking a deep breath.
JACLYN
Yes, I love that.
JOANNA
It's so easy to get, you know, traffic can make you mean. It's like, you know, people, like people's reactions to things can make you mean. I try to model that with my kids, or at least give them a thought. You know, when they experience something that isn't very nice I always say, well, like, let's talk about the person. You know, that's not to say that you have to accept that behavior on any level. I am like, very clear with my boundaries especially as I get older. Um, but just kind of giving a little understanding a little bit more of a thought into the why of it all.
JACLYN
That’s why. Exactly. There’s so much richness in what you just said. I'd love to unpack a little bit of what you're hitting on which is the complexity of kindness and this idea that we all can choose or not choose it, and we're reacting in the moment. But if we have that posture of curiosity and openness and a willingness to see someone beyond the immediate judgment, we might feel what that can do. Do you have any examples yourself where you've witnessed that or experienced that, where you've either felt judged by someone or you realized you were judging someone?
JOANNA
Just go on my Instagram! Yeah. I think, you know, yes, I mean a hundred percent, I mean not, like this conversation is applicable to every single person in the world. The fact that I do what I do-
JACLYN
Right.
JOANNA
-adds another layer of exposure, if you will, to… a lot of people that just simply just don't know me making assumptions. I just did a show where… I hosted a show about queer love and if you were to read some of the hate that was thrown my way, um, it was shocking to me. You know, not just from, you know, it was all it was so layered. And one of the cast members wrote me and said, “I'm really sorry you're experiencing this and I hate this for you.” And I was like, “I'm good, I'm fine,” but I can't say that it wasn't like, you know, shocking. It wasn't, you know, you're just like, well, why not me for this experience? Right, I have a deep, you know, love and passion and understanding and a curiosity and compassion and all of the things, like why not, why wouldn't I be someone that would be the right person to kind of help navigate this experience with these people? Am I a queer person? No, but am I an ally? Absolutely. You know, it's just like, so those were the things that were really hard for me to grapple with, but again you know it's like, for my work that's where it does separate. Because my work is like, okay well there's an editing room and there's things that come out and, you know, there's people, like, it's entertainment. And so I have to kind of just like, put that aside in a lot of ways. But when you really, you know, that's why I feel like it's, you know, getting away from social media and those kinds of things and actually getting to know people and meet people and that's why it's so important. And that's why I feel really adamant about my kids not being on social media or not having cell phones and, you know, access to all of that junk that even someone as therapized as I am and confident in who I am at this point can still get really rattled. I mean, I spent hours talking to my best friends, some of which were, you know, members of the queer community, the LGBTQIA community, that were like, “This is nuts, I never imagined this.” I was like, “I didn't imagine it either,” but it was hard. It was so, that was just you know, just recently for me.
JACLYN
Recently. And you know, I think this is, it's a big topic. Especially parents, everyone's thinking about the role of social media on our mental health and what it's doing to allow for more of the cyber bullying. And this idea of such extreme views showing up and you can say so much more behind a screen.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
Um, and so you're an incredible actor, and we're recording this right now during the strike so we're gonna limit how much we get into any of your work and your portfolio, but amazing career, you know, you've done so much through it and that does put you more in the spotlight in a way, you know, where you're more prolific and people have that kind of response. What do you do to navigate that for yourself as Jo, aa a mom, as a human, like, not as an actor but just as a person? What does that look like for you?
JOANNA
You know, I just try to hold on to what is real, which is the experience for me. So I look at like the actual, why it's so important to me when I choose jobs, that they're, that I'm excited about the people that I'm going to work with. That I, you know, show up every day my best self and I expect that of my co-workers as well, because that experience is really all we have. Then it gets, like, edited and put music put to it and, you know, the notes and the this and the that and then it gets put out into the airwaves and then people have their opinions about it. But I go back to kind of trying to be in the moment and like, not get outside of myself of what I can and can't control. And I mean look, you know, there's not one thing that's going to please everyone, right, so you know I try to choose my work based on what I feel like is, like, important to me and I think that right now especially the work that I'm doing and the work that I'm really excited about in the near future is all based on, you know, there's a level of, like, joy, that's attached to it. And you know there's an intimate look on, you know, navigating life. The highs, the lows, the trials, the tribulations, and I want people to be able to relate to what I'm doing right now. Kind of strike a nerve, in a good way. Make you think a little bit.
JACLYN
Yeah.
JOANNA
Um, so I try to just stay in what I can control, which is the actual experience and the act of it and not worry as much. I mean, is it amazing to see something you know succeed and resonate and yes, those are all incredible things and essential to like, my next job, so I do care about the outcome very much. But I also just try to hold on to the experience.
JACLYN
I love it. What within character development have you learned about human kindness and compassion? You know, you assume all of these different roles in people, these characters that you have to embody. You do it beautifully, you're so talented. How has that journey, if at all, shaped your perspective or understanding of how kindness shows up in ways that maybe you didn't know as Jo?
JOANNA
Yeah, well, it's just honestly stepping into someone else's shoes, you know, and I think that that is, we all have our own, you know, traumas and crap that everything kind of gets filtered through as we get older. And so stepping into those other filters and really… and honestly that's why, I mean, I fall so deeply in love with the writers that I work with. Because I love it when I see like, there's a reaction to something and something's written where it may not be, I would have been like, wow, I would definitely have not reacted like this to this situation. The why, the why, the understanding and, you know, like I said it all comes back to that curiosity, that loving curiosity of just trying to understand where someone's coming from. And I think generally people are very good, and that's not to say that there is not evil in this world, there is most definitely, you know, I don't have blinders on to that. And that's not to say that I accept, like, bad behavior because I don't, and anybody that knows me knows that I do have really, like, firm boundaries for certain things, where I’m like, that is not acceptable on any level. But I also think that you can be kind in those moments too.
JACLYN
Yeah, yeah, I mean for us a lot of our work it is reminding people, most people want to do good most of the time.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
And there's, like, a few bad apples and every human has the capacity for kindness, we just don't always activate it. But it's there within each of us and we all have the power to do or not do it, to choose it or not choose it, and our first organizational value is to be curious. It's really coming at this work with questions in an open mind and I just love how much you're reinforcing that because I don't think a lot of people see it in that lens, to be honest, and it's really refreshing to have your perspective in that way, it's really encouraging.
JOANNA
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel like it's so simple too. It's not something that, you know, it's not like a complex process. It’s just simply, you know, taking a deep breath and asking the why – why is this happening and surrounding yourself by people that are also willing to ask those same questions.
JACLYN
Exactly.
JOANNA
Because I definitely get myself in a tizzy and I have my, you know, my tribe, my people, my husband. And I can just say you know… yesterday in carline, I had this moment where I was like, I was on the lower school side, and then they were like, “Well, you have to go way down that line,” and I was like, “I have to go in a second carline? I guess I have to go way down that way. I thought I was, like, just gonna peek across,” and they were like, “No,” and I was just like… And it was pouring rain. I had my little one in the car and I was just so frustrated and she said to me, she said, “I know how frustrated you are. Why were you so nice to that guy?” And I said, “Well I mean, he's got a lot on his plate, he's, like, directing traffic at school dismissal. And it's not his fault that the upper school line isn't moving, and I can kind of see what he means.” Like yes, is this going to cause us to be here for another 35 minutes? Yes. It's really annoying, but like, it's not his fault. Like you know, yeah, so she really was like, “I know how annoyed you are but like, why didn't you tell him that?”
JACLYN
I love that story.
JOANNA
Give the guy a break.
JACLYN
That's the thing. Now, I'm a newer mom and had been at this work pre-being a mom. And now I have a three and a five-year-old. They both just started school, one went to kindergarten.
JOANNA
That’s such a big moment!
JACLYN
Big moment, yeah. All the emotions yesterday at drop-off!
JOANNA
I can imagine, yes, yes.
JACLYN
Um, and learning about carlines, which, who knew that that would be where your patience gets tested more than having a three and five-year-old?
JOANNA
Absolutely. And just wait until they start to like, relate to their classmates, and navigating all of that. You're just like, you really do have to exhibit the, you know, especially when you know, kids say things to your kids. Last year my daughter, like, she got called a teacher's pet, and that she was like too nice.
JACLYN
This is the older one I’m assuming.
JOANNA
Yeah, yeah. And she was so hurt by that. She was so hurt and she was like, “I'm just sick of hearing that,” like, “It's not true,” and this, that and the other, and it was hard because how do you say? You know, she was really having her feelings in that moment and I said, you know sometimes that people will criticize the things they admire most in you and so you just have to keep being true to yourself and lead by example, you know. And even if you're not feeling like a leader you don't have to, you don't have to have that responsibility, just keep doing you.
JACLYN
That’s really wise.
JOANNA
It's hard though, because you just, I wanted to just take that little girl aside and be like, “Hey, I don’t want to be very kind to you right now.”
JACLYN
Yeah. That's really, really, really sound wisdom, um, and I'm gonna carry that with me when my little ones are going through.
JOANNA
You have maybe a couple of years, but it'll get there. You'll get there.
JACLYN
Okay, so I do want to talk about another big initiative that you have created, The Happy Place.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
So would love to hear from you, what prompted it, well, what it is, what prompted it. And yeah, just tell our audience, this is your tribe, this is your virtual people all around the world who get it. So, tell us, I want to hear all about it.
JOANNA
Well, it was, it started as sort of a more design-focused blog or destination, if you will, where I started to kind of share my love for interior design. And I felt like I could really hang my hat on that because I was like, it's not so much like, personal. I mean, it's personal to me, it was my little happy place in creating that we had sort of this vision for it. And then, as time went on, and I started to feel like we started to gain some followers and I started to get to know people and, um, it felt very different than my public Instagram, Jo Garcia Swisher. And so it felt like this, like, little space where I was excited to share projects that I was doing with my kids or recipes or things that I loved, and it felt really personal and it really was just kind of, pulling the curtain on what my happy place was. And then I lost my dad, very suddenly, over like a few weeks. And I thought, “How am I ever gonna be happy again?” Like, this is, this is impossible. And, um, what I realized was that, like, within grief there's a duality. There can be joy. And so, you know, a whole other layer of The Happy Place sort of revealed itself. It's really just a piece of my heart. I don't share things on there that I don't love. As we've gotten on in the years at The Happy Place I have, I've gotten less, I've gotten further away from being like, “Well no, I'm not an influencer,” you know these conversations where you're just like, I felt I put a lot of like rules on what it was going to be or what I would share there, but now I'm like, well, people want to know. I just did a story on my favorite white t-shirts. White t-shirts make me happy.
JACLYN
Yeah.
JOANNA
My husband's like, “How many more of these do you need?” and I was like, “They're essential and I need to try all of them in the whole wide world.” And so I just gave myself a break, and said just talk. And we have amassed this like, incredibly loving, positive, delightful following that I just can't tell you how it's healed me. It's carried me through, it has given me a purpose when… to look at the bright side when I didn't feel that way at all. It’s put focus on traditions and gifts and stories that I was raised with in my, since my dad died. A little over a year later I lost my grandmother and two weeks later I lost my mom. And so I've lost a lot in the last few years, and so navigating what that joy, what my happy place looks like in the midst of all of that, I just, it saved me in many ways. And I also think, you know, like there's, I want everyone to feel like they're a part of it too. You know, I want other stories to be told there. I want, you know, we have so many goals, we're, you know, as soon as the strike lifts we have some incredible, exciting news to share about how it's growing and changing, and the company’s, like, taking on a shape. But the idea, the ethos, the message, I was just talking to Nick about this last night, because I was saying I have such a clear-cut vision for what this is. For the movement, for the, you know, when you come to The Happy Place that you can take a deep breath. You can be inspired. You can not feel like you can't do it. I mean, there's nothing on The Happy Place that is like, Pinterest-perfect. It’s real. It's like, there's a crock-pot involved and an air fryer, and there's nothing too complicated. But it's all, like, it's what I cook for my family. I mean, I shot yesterday, I made this amazing pasta, that's what we had for dinner. You know, so it’s just like, it's just a glimpse into my world, but the greatest joy of it is that it's a place that we can all share. And that as we grow and expand that anything that has, you know, is a part of The Happy Place is something that, you know, feels like everybody's a part of.
JACLYN
I love it. We'll definitely include all of it in the show notes and direct people there. I'm curious for someone listening, what would you say to the person who doesn't know their happy place, how do you guide someone to think about how to get to what their own happy place would be?
JOANNA
So I've shared this story before but I worked with this amazing healer, um, a few years ago. It was right after my dad died and I was feeling really, I’d just shot season one of Sweet Magnolias and I was feeling really just kind of like, I don't know what the show is, I've just lost my dad. But I was just feeling really depleted and we were doing this meditation and this healer, this woman came up to me and she was like, “You know you can't quit acting,” and I was like, “Why would you say that?... How do you even know that I'm thinking about that in this moment?” And she said, it's just so important because when people are lost, when people need a break, when people need to turn their minds off, when people need to be entertained, whatever it may be, that what we do the art form of, you know, creating television shows and movies and for people to experience that they're somehow honing their stone. They're feeling emotions. I mean, I don't do horror films, but even to the extent of like, they're being scared out of their brains, and she said, “The stories that you're telling are real and inspirational and relatable and all of those things.” And so she said it helps people find their way. And that's not, I don't wanna make my job seem more important than it is, but I think that by sharing and by opening yourself up to experiencing another thought or another way of life or being inspired, it helps you find your way. It’s social media at its best, connecting people, telling stories. It's, you know, connecting at its best. And I think that that would be the one thing that I, the one thing I feel like I hope that I can do and part of why I share my grief at The Happy Place is because there is all of that, like, it's so layered and it's so never-ending. It's not like, you know, I woke up today and I was in tears because I saw this woman on Instagram who lost her father in the same month that I did and she was listening to a Taylor Swift song that I listen to and makes me think of my parents and I'm like, this is, like, important, these are important feelings and these are, you know. And so finding your way by connecting, by, you know, not recoiling in, and that's what I hope The Happy Place does. You may not like the, you know, hummus recipe that I share but it's like, the experience of coming there. What I want you to see, what I want you to feel, you know, I hope that in some way helps you find your happy place too. And also getting people to look inward, you know, I say, people ask me a lot about design, so that's what I went to school for. And I say, like, good design is a home that reflects you. Forget the trends, and so if someone, you know, you have a coffee table book that someone leans into or a trinket or if you like cuckoo clocks – collections are some of my favorite design.
JACLYN
Yeah.
JOANNA
You know? Like, go for it. Lean into the cuckoo clocks. That's your happy place, that's good design. When someone walks into your home and they feel you, that's beautiful. I went off on a tangent there a little bit but…
JACLYN
No, I think "doing cuckoo clocks" will definitely be one of our taglines for promoting this podcast!
JOANNA
Do cuckoo clocks!
JACLYN
And thank you for, for walking us through and being open to share your grief and grieving process. With this work we've always replied to every email, we receive and we've received just thousands from around the world, and it's so often people looking to kindness as an opportunity to connect or to heal or to find solace or comfort in a time of pain. And I don't think I've ever had someone explain it that way or where there's grief there can be joy and I just think that's such a beautiful way for people that are navigating grief and loss to think about how to have hope and how to walk through that. So thank you for sharing that journey with us and I am so sorry for that kind of loss, that’s a lot to go through.
JOANNA
Thank you.
JACLYN
But I bet they are so inspired to see how you've used it to now give to so many people through The Happy Place, um, and so I'm sure it's brought great joy.
JOANNA
Yeah. I have no doubt they’re, right, they’re not even shining down, I think they're, like, right here.
JACLYN
Yes, they're dancing alongside of this. That’s amazing, Jo, thank you. And so, is it, I'm curious, is it something that people follow or is there a way to get involved, or what does it look like to become a part of The Happy Place community?
JOANNA
Well, right now it’s, you know, we have an online destination. So we have a website where we, you know, share everything and then we have an Instagram and um, yeah that's right now. Right …
JACLYN
Right now, yes, right now. More to come, everyone, more to come!
JOANNA
We’re… There will be other ways to, um, to connect.
JACLYN
Okay. Amazing. So, what our audience doesn't know is before before we started recording I heard some Spanish happening.
JOANNA
Oh, yeah.
JACLYN
But, yeah, tell me what that background is in connection is to Spanish.
JOANNA
Well, um, my father came over from Cuba when he was 14 years old, and it's just who I am. And people don't really ever, um, they're like, “You're Latina” And I’m like “Yeah.” They’re like, “You speak Spanish?” and I’m like, “Yeah, I do.” Um, so it's just, I don't know how else to say it except that it's like very, my Latin roots, my heritage is very much a part of my daily life. I mean, I speak Spanish daily. I, you know, my family, many of our traditions are based on it. Some of our favorite foods are based on our, my Latin heritage, and it's just, so it’s funny when people are, like, they're so surprised by it. Yeah, because, um, it's just, it's a part of me.
JACLYN
Yeah, yeah, well I it was a kindred moment because very similarly, um, people think the same about me. My last name pre-marriage was San Roman, and I didn't keep it, but my dad came from Peru when he was a boy, a teenager, and moved to Peru, or moved to New York from Peru, and, interestingly, I veer a little bit here, he was really running away from Peru, so he didn't want to raise me embracing that. But then when I was a teenager he realized, what have I done? This is who she is, this is her heritage.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
And so now I fully have embraced it and I moved there after college. Yeah, I'm really close with my family there and have now tried to figure out how to integrate it into my boys’ lives.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
And yeah, so I love that. And, but, yeah a lot of people are like “Huh?” You know, freckled skin, and I'm like, “I know, yeah!” Proudly Peruvian!
JOANNA
Yeah, um, my dad had something similar, you know, my dad was like, came over, you know, it was not the best of circumstances in Cuba when he, um, came to this country, and I think he really wanted to fit in. And so I always, if it weren’t for my Abuela, I don't know that I would speak Spanish fluently. Um, my dad really was really, like, kind of traumatized by that experience. But as we got older, it was, it became different. I mean, yeah, look, you know, my Cuban family, most of them speak only Spanish, so it was like, it was still very much around us, so I'm sure he relied heavily on that. But like, he spoke English to us, um which I always am like, what? Why didn't you, you know, but yeah, my Abuela did that for us, for which I'm super grateful. But yeah, I think that that has, that I think that people a lot of people that immigrate could probably somehow, that they could relate to that feeling.
JACLYN
Yeah. Yeah, they're, it's chasing the American Dream and he, similarly, he did a lot to try and fit in.
JOANNA
Yeah.
JACLYN
And now it, we've all as a family taken stock of how it all shaped us as kids. I come from a huge family, and I do talk about the role my parents played in teaching me kindness. And I think for him, it was the idea that, you know, he showed up poor, it was very much like no money in his pocket kind of thing. And, um, that gave him, it gave him something to equip us, that every human regardless of their wallet or name, you know, or background is a person at first.
JOANNA
Yup.
JACLYN
And so I do credit both my parents for really instilling that idea in me, and I think a lot stemmed from that.
JOANNA
Yeah, yeah. It's so true, it definitely, I feel like modeling that, and even just not even like, beating over the head with it, it's like, just watching it does so much.
JACLYN
Yeah. Gosh, there's so many things I would want to keep asking you about. I'm curious if there's anything for you, when you think of kinder world, the mission of a kinder world, that you would want to say to our audience, or you would want to speak to that you haven't yet.
JOANNA
Oh gosh, that's such a good question! I mean, I think that, that these type of, it feels like that your following and your listeners, the people that are part of your tribe, um, probably are very similar to that at The Happy Place, and that like, I think, that, that those movements are super important. Just the idea that we're having this conversation, that that's what we're putting out into this world, that we're talking about it and making it important, um, and not shying away from it. I don't know, do you, do you get this stuff like, uh so my favorite word is grateful. And I watched this whole, like, comedy spoof on like, how annoyed they are that people like love that word and I was like, “Wow I, have so much gratitude.” Like, the kindness-haters.
JACLYN
Right!
JOANNA
Where you're like, “Okay!” So I feel like, you know, we're like vigilantes, if you will. We're like, no, we believe in good things! But I just think it's so important to put this out into the world. And it's, it's all that I, you know, care about doing. It's what is going to, you know, in the near, very near future, be the sole focus of my career as an actor and as a creator, and I just feel like it's so important. And I, um, I feel really grateful to be a part of your community now.
JACLYN
Thank you.
JOANNA
But I think it's really, it's important to continue to, you know, to focus on it. Make it a priority.
JACLYN
Exactly, couldn't, plus one, couldn't agree more.
JOANNA
Yeah, I love it!
JACLYN
Yeah, since we started we had so many naysayers and they'd be like, “Jaclyn, what, you're giving up your career to focus on kindness?” Like, they just, there was no way to understand that this could be a real thing, a real job, a real organization, a non-profit. And I said, “Yeah,” and we're doing it by asking questions and coming at it with curiosity and then figuring out how to do that science, the scientific work, and build the tools to help people to choose it, because it isn't always easy, um, necessarily. And our big focus has been kids and, um, it has been hard and humbling and I do have to sit with gratitude daily to remind myself I'm doing work that motivates me, that's hard, that gets me out of bed. And it's a puzzle. It's really hard work because it's, we're doing it in a way that's just never been done before. Um, so yeah, thank you.
JOANNA
It’s so exciting.
JACLYN
I'm gonna take that going forward. Vigilantes.
JOANNA
Yes, yes. I am so impressed and supportive and all of the above.
JACLYN
Thank you. So, um, yeah, I'm gonna just do, it's like five questions-
JOANNA
Okay, great.
JACLYN
-on the spot thinking.
JOANNA
Okay.
JACLYN
No, you're gonna be great. Um, okay, so define kindness in one word.
JOANNA
Love.
JACLYN
Um, love it. If you could get everyone around the world to do one kind act right now, what would you have them do?
JOANNA
Say thank you. Have a little gratitude.
JACLYN
So good. You said what book you're reading but, um, what is on your Spotify music list, or Pandora, or whatever you listen to?
JOANNA
Right now it’s, it's all Taylor Swift right now. But I'm also just a rabid country music fan so I'm like, you know, rocking out to Kelsea Ballerini, Miranda Lambert.
JACLYN
So good.
JOANNA
Like, all of my, all of my queens.
JACLYN
Um, as an aside did you see Taylor in Tampa?
JOANNA
Yes, I did!
JACLYN
So good.
JOANNA
Religious moment.
JACLYN
Which day did you go?
JOANNA
Uh, Thursday, the Thursday night.
JACLYN
Oh, me too!
JOANNA
Amazing.
JOANNA and JACLYN
So good. So good.
JACLYN
Um, who do you credit for kindness? You kind of spoke to this but, yeah, who do you want to say thank you to?
JOANNA
Um, my parents.
JACLYN
Amazing. Um, and anything that you would want people to know, as they, as we part ways? Um, what would you want to leave them with?
JOANNA
Um, wow. That's so that's a big one. Um, anything that I would… I don't know why I'm hearing to say this, but everything's gonna be okay. We're all good. Yeah
JACLYN
That’s perfect, thank you. And then, yes, we're so grateful our first season is sponsored by our friends at Verizon. They're dear partners of ours, and we always like to end with an action and encouraging people to choose kindness. So it's an invitation that you can text someone or call someone, um, whatever your comfort level is but just letting them know that you're grateful for them, which ties so nicely to what you would want to do.
JOANNA
I love that.
JACLYN
So if you're up for it, we'd either love to know who you would want to text, or you could reach out now and tell us who you're gonna say thank you to.
JOANNA
Um, I'm gonna say thank you to Bob Merrick.
JACLYN
Bob Merrick.
JOANNA
Yes, he, we work together and he is, like, my sounding board. He has an, um, well, he's incredibly kind, but he also has just this, like, really deep and special way of looking at the world and helps me navigate when I get into a tizzy. So I'm grateful to you Bob!
JACLYN
Yay, thank you, Bob!
OUTRO: (Jaclyn)
Thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode of the Why Kindness? Podcast sponsored by our friends at Verizon. To learn more about everything you heard today from our wonderful guest, definitely check out our show notes. We hope you're leaving this episode inspired and reminded that every kind act truly does make a difference. We'd love to hear how you're choosing kindness in your day-to-day. We write back to every email, so let us know what you think. And please leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify. This podcast is one of the many ways we live out our organization's mission to educate and inspire people to choose kindness. Visit our site today at kindness.org and sign up to become a part of our global community, which spans more than 100 countries. It's free to join, and one of the many benefits includes being the first to get access to our latest research tools, and even episodes of this podcast. We are so excited to get you involved in building a kinder world. Please tune in next time as we continue to explore this big question: why kindness?